Monday, July 25, 2011

{Becoming Me}

I am beginning a new journey.  It is a journey of becoming.  Becoming me.
I know I've been me for 40 years but it has been a struggle.
I've never liked me.  I was actually more in the hate department.
I have improved over the last few years.  I no longer hate myself but I haven't fallen in love with me either . . . yet.

I've always struggled with self-esteem - a serious lack of it.
It may seem surprising but it is oh, so true.
My poor Sir Thomas.  He hasn't known what to do with me. 

Today begins a new day!  Today, I begin to choose who I will be and I will love the person I choose to be.  That even sounds Dr. Seuss-ish!  I'm off to a great start!

My blog will soon have a new look.  (Thank you, Cari) And I will continue to share my journey down the path to happily ever after . . .  Happiness is not my destination.  Happiness is the journey.  My family has always made me happy!  Now, I will learn to be happy being me.

* I will no longer stare at my thighs every time I walk past a mirror.
* I will no longer cringe at the sound of my voice or my laugh.
* I will say "Thank You!" when Sir Thomas tells me I'm beautiful.  I think I'll even give him a kiss.
   (I'll be working on not discounting his compliments in my head!)
* I'm going to learn to stop comparing myself to the perfect people I know and start liking me.

I don't know exactly what this journey will look like.  I just know it's time that I begin.  Welcome self to a new world! 
I think I'll wear red lipstick tomorrow with my high heels.


Robin said...

You can do this and it will make the journey happier. Sounds like you got a lot out of TOFW. Did you go this year? As long as we are on a journey of progression all is well. My new favorite quote (you will like) is Testimony is knowing and believing...Conversion is doing and becoming. Sounds like you are on a journey to conversion of this concept. Have fun with it.

Jill Walker said...

I couldn't imagine you being any more perfect. We have loved and admired you from the moment we met you. You will be forever in our debt for your never ending love, kindness and friendship.

If only we could see ourselves the way other people see us (the good things that is.) You have again inspired me.


One of the best things I remember ever hearing since becoming a mother was not to compare my "worsts" to other people's "bests." What's a strength for one person can be a weakness for someone else. I've always been inspired by you, ever since Thomas read that poem you wrote. I think you rock! Way to enjoy the journey :-)

Jill said...

Oh Melissa! I love you. I have never seen you the way you see yourself, but I have known of your struggles. I want to compliment you on being so brave to talk about it so openly! Caroline is right- you can't compare your "perceived" weaknesses to other's "perceived" strengths. I know, because I've been doing that with you for too long. Haha!

While I'm here, I want you to know that I know you are an excellent mom, the most generous person I know and the most complimentary! I've said it before, and I'll say it again...When I grow up I want to be like you. ;)

I love you!

(now go grab a tissue, your mascara is running.) Haha!

Kari McCallon said...

Can I just say I love you! I have always looked up to you. When I was a kid coming to your house with my mom, I always thought you were so pretty inside & out and I wanted to look and BE just like you. (And I still feel that way as an adult) :)

Good luck with your journey. You can do it! I believe in you!

Bryson Bunch said...

I'm just going to echo everyone else here and tell you that I love you and have adored you since the day that I met you! You are one of those "perfect" people that I know. Isn't it funny how hard we are on ourselves? This must be a 40's journey. I have been feeling the exact same way and having similar talks with so many friends about this. I can't wait to see what you learn and share. I look forward to taking that journey with you. Lots of Hugs from Northern Idaho to one of my favorite Texas gals- Embrace the journey!!!

Kimberly said...

Melissa I totally agree with all the comments - especially Kari's! I remember going to your house and thinking man I wanna be just like her - sweet, smart, funny, and absolutely beautiful! Good luck on your journey! And I'm so glad I've found your blog! I love all the updates!

Sarah Lunt said...

So sorry that I haven't been in "blogdom" lately, I would have commented earlier. I agree with Jill, I've known of your challenge and I've hurt for you while always scratching my head wondering "why?" your little sister I always wanted to be like you. You ALWAYS make others feel great about themselves. I'll cheer for you always! Love you lots and lots gorgeous girl!

(PS - I showed my extra 4 kids this week your bday pics. They could NOT believe you are 40. I think they called you "Flawless!" and you are!)