Monday, July 18, 2011

{PLEASE put me out of my misery}

These pictures tell a small story of my anguish.  These are preliminary pictures for Keaton's project. They are only half the tale because I have two Eagle Scout Projects in process. I will survive.

Stress, please go away.  I need serious help.   I love being the mother of three boys.  I love it with a huge, bigger than Texas size love . . . and then I hear the words "Boy Scouts" followed by "Eagle Scout Projects."  

When I hear those words I feel like the biggest, bigger than Texas size failure of a mother.  I feel that way because those words overwhelm me.  I feel that I do not deserve the sacred "Mother" pin given to each Scout's maternal role-model at the end of the long Scouting journey.  When it comes to Scouting, I am pathetic.  It's so embarrassing because I'm the only pathetic mother in my sons' Scout Troop.  

I do try.  To be honest, I totally support their scouting and help when I'm able.  The "able" part is the catch.  These projects just overwhelm me.  I can't even explain why because I do a lot of projects.  Unexplainable. Keaton and Landon have both completed their scouting journeys a LONG time ago - except for their Eagle Projects.  So . . . the time is now.

I will not quit.  I will have three Eagle Scouts soaring very soon. Keaton and Landon will join their brother.  It is worth the journey.  Nolan is an Eagle Scout and I felt like I had conquered Mount Everest at his Court of Honor.  That would be a nice feeling again. 

Oh, Eagle Scout Projects . . . I shed tears.  I get physically sick.  I surrender and beg Sir Thomas for help with the paperwork.  He saves me.  Happy days are ahead.  Two Eagle Scout Projects are the only things that stand in my way.

After thought:  After posting "PLEASE put me out of misery" - I realized I had probably only added to my misery.  I know what my few readers are thinking and YES, the idea of an Eagle Scout Project is for the Scouts to lead the project . . . that's much harder than me doing it myself!  It's harder to direct and coach and suggest and remind and proof-read and lots of other things instead of just doing it myself.  Maybe that's why I'm overwhelmed?