Tuesday, July 26, 2011

{How does a chameleon change her spots?}

Chameleon syndrome.  That's what I've had.  Self-diagnosed but I'm right.

I always wanted to be YOU!  Whoever you are, I always saw your strengths and thought . . . "She's the perfect girl.  If I could just be like her."

If I've never met you, I would have done the same thing to you on acquaintance!  {I really hope we meet someday.}

The sweet & shy personality, the bold & out-going gal, bubbly, confident, feminine, crafty, sporty, or glitzy - I saw the positive in all.  If I was around a brainiac, I would try to mimic her and leave hoping I could continue to pull it off.

I never could.  That's not what chameleons do.  They soon see someone else and begin the color-change process all over.  That's what I would do.

So, how does a chameleon change her spots?  {I know the "leopard-can't-change-their-spots" thing but this is working for me!}

Chameleon's change their spots by deciding to!  That wasn't even rocket science.

I've done a lot of thinking and praying and that was my earth-shattering answer.  Rather brilliant.

So, Step 1 in my journey is to change what I decide.  I just decided to stop.  Stop being a chameleon.  For some reason, just deciding has already made a difference.

Today was different.  I didn't worry about me.  I wasn't feeling well yesterday or even when I woke up but thank goodness for the old adage, "Fake it till you make it."

Today I was happy being the me that likes to wear dresses - even if I'm staying at home.  High heels are a staple.  I even wore the red lipstick.  I didn't worry what people thought when I had to take my Landon to the orthodontist office.  I didn't even wonder if I should've worn a lipstick color like someone else.  

I only own one MAC lipstick.  Ruby Woo.  If I'm gonna own red lipstick, I should love it.

"To become a butterfly, you must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

Butterflies have always been my favorite . . . maybe that's why I'm finally ready to fly.  I want it that much.  Good-bye, caterpillar.  Good bye, chameleon.  Hello, me.

I've been overwhelmed as I realized the wonderful friends I have.  Thank you for your kind words.  Thank you for loving me until I can truly love myself.  It's coming.  I can feel it!